I think the biggest emotion I can't seem to get a handle on (but really want to) is the What If......
What if it all happens again, I really DO not want to spend 2 weeks in hospital again. More importantly I don't want to put my loved ones through the pain and suffering I ultimately caused them the first time round.
Well I suppose I should start back at the beginning only because I have not written on this blog for what seems the longest time. So I suspect I have lost all my avid readers who clutched at all my ramblings with outstretched arms. OK slight exaggeration I think my Mum read it at least I think she did, still one reader is better than no reader (Note to self must email the link to Mother)...
Ok I used to be an Ultra Runner who entered the odd race or 2 and quite enjoyed the experience. That's enough of that in order to tempt any future readers (maybe one of my brothers will join my dear old Mum) you will have to read some previous race reports.
This all came to an abrupt end in June 2012 during a 100 mile race. To cut a long story short (I really hate that statement but can't think of a better one, I should have tried harder at English GCSE) I ended up in hospital diagnosed with Rhabdomylosis. After I got out and had recovered I discovered I was actually scared of running, sounds really silly now but at the time I guess I was scared of a repeat leading to the same problems. To add to that it really hurt to run still, well again using the same short cutting technique, it transpired I had been running with a stress fracture in my hip for a fair while which in a knock on affect ultimately led to my hospitalisation.
I was lucky enough to get the all clear from the doctor at the end of January 2013. So I really got the bit between my teeth, I had plans to train smart and start racing again. All that happened in reality was I spent the whole of 2013 faffing and dithering when it came to running. I could not make any decisions whether I wanted to train seriously or not. Yes at the time all this faffing came out as potential obstacles that to the untrained eye could have been seen as valid reasons why I could not commit to a solid training plan. Who was I kidding though, all the obstacles were put there because I did not want to face the “What If” emotion.
So after my wasted year I quickly came to the conclusion that I had run out of excuses to NOT run an ultra again. I finally signed up for an Ultra that is local to where I used to live and subsequently train. I suspect an expert could and would analyse this as some sort of comfort thing that although I am taking the step back to Ultra’s I am doing it in a way that is very tentative and the serious need to wrap myself up in cotton wool.
I don’t think I am though, the Ultra I have signed up to is the Evesham Ultra organised by Cotswold Running. Although it’s not the hilliest I could have chosen it certainly has a few spikes to test the old quads.
Let’s be fair I could of chosen a nice canal bimble as my come back not that I’m knocking canal Ultra’s I actually like them.
Going back to my original opening sentence, I am excited, respectful, scared and above all grateful of the opportunity to prove to myself that I can still run Ultras…..
So in a little over 2 weeks time whatever happens I will blog a warts and all race report.